In this day and age, we are surrounded with anger and hate. Everyone has something negative to say about something or someone. This is the unfortunate sad reality, we would think by now we would more advanced and know how to act like a descent human being.
Anger is a powerful emotion, and we have all experienced. I know I have, many times. This emotion is very negative and it is vital to learn how to control it. I wouldn’t call myself an angry person but I do get annoyed easily. What can I say, I just can’t tolerate stupidity. As harsh as that sounds. Also I wouldn’t call myself confrontational, but if someone disrespects me I would definitely speak up.
However, something happened last week that really taught me about choosing to let it go and be the bigger person. There is a woman who lives in my neighborhood, I have spoken to her once, so I know she is in her 60s. The first time I ever saw her was on a bright Spring day, in my neighborhood. I have just gotten off the bus and I noticed she was admiring a dog that was passing by. The owner was clearly lost in thought and on top of that she was also listening to music. The elderly woman attempted to stop the girl by talking in a cutesy voice to her dog. However, the dog owner did not notice and she continued walking. I too had my headphones on, but I saw her say the word “b****”, saying it repeatedly. She noticed I was staring and she quickly reassured me she wasn’t saying it to me. If she did, I wouldn’t let it go, that’s for sure.
Fast forward to this year, I was at the subway station with my coworker waiting for the bus. We noticed there was a new bus, not the regular and it was named differently. I made a comment about it to my coworker and this same woman walked up to us and said “I know right, can’t they spell properly. Stupid people”. I usually have a very accurate intuition about people and I never got a good vibe from this woman from the very beginning. She spoke to us, but I didn’t say much because I was trying not to engage in a conversation with her. I got on the bus and she sat down next to me. I decided to be polite and give her the benefit of the doubt. We engaged in a conversation, talking about life. This sounds overly philosophical. Anyway, she then began with a rant about how some people need to go back to their country and leave ours. She was being very hateful, and I told her “well I’m an immigrant”. She asked where I’m from and I said Bulgaria. “Oh a European, you’re good! Europeans are nice”. I was stunned, I didn’t know how to respond, so I stayed quiet. Racism and discrimination is something I do not tolerate. The next thing she complained about was a child at the library. She was saying how the child was loud and no one was doing anything about it. “I wish they could shut up that f****** kid”, she said. I was appalled she would speak that way about a child. We got off the bus, walked over to my part of the neighbourhood and said our goodbyes.
I was never planning on speaking to her again, as I know what she is like. Last week I ran into her again but she clearly forgot who I was, because I tried to smile at her. She was walking out of the subway station and I was just behind her, about to walk out too. Thinking she would hold the door for me to exit the station, she closed it in my face. I began to shake my head in a disapproving way. She noticed me doing that, she began saying some things but I had my headphones on so I couldn’t hear her. I pulled down my headphones, and she was mumbling angrily to herself. I was sipping my water and looking at her, when she caught a glimpse of me looking at her, she would quickly turn her head. I stood there not too far from her and just watched her. I was trying to analyze her behavior and try to understand why she was so angry for something she didn’t do right. I thought of confronting her, but then I stopped myself.
Why did I do that? Here is why, first of all she is elderly so if I engaged in an argument I would look bad. I wasn’t planning on giving her that advantage. Second, for a mature woman to act in such disrespectful manner, it means she is very childish. I wouldn’t want to stoop down to her level. I did feel angry, but I thought about it rationally.
So if you ever feel angry, do the following:
1. Breathe. Take a deep breath before you decide to lash out.
2. Accept you are angry, acknowledge your feelings. Dismissing them, does more harm than good.
3. Assess the situation. Is there a possibility of it escalating? Is it worth? Most likely, you won’t gain anything from lashing out.
4. Be the bigger person. Don’t stoop down to the level of petty people, some people are not worth your time or emotions.
5. Vent! Talk to someone and get it off your chest, or have a journal where you can let it all out.
When we are angry we do not think clearly, so it is important to pay close attention to your emotions and learn to control them. It’s hard, but it can be managed and once you start, one day it will become a habit.
I hope you enjoyed this post! Look forward to tomorrow’s post because we will take a look back at my anime past 🙂
See you soon!